I suspect one reason change, no matter how badly you want things to be different, is difficult is because in order for change to occur, you must say goodbye to something.
You want a new job, then you have to say goodbye to the current job.
You want a relationship, then you have to say goodbye to being single.
You want the wisdom which comes from age, then you have to say goodbye to youth.
No biggie, you say. I didn’t like my old job or being single, and youth is overrated. I hear you. What also may be true is you miss some of your former co-workers even though you did not like the job. Or you may realize that one of the benefits to being single is you do not feel the need to consult with a partner. And while the immaturity of youth may not be missed, you probably miss the ache-free joints and the bladder continence.
So you see, there is always a goodbye in the process of change.
The 2020 pandemic gave everyone on a global scale a massive lesson in saying goodbye. While some of the things you said goodbye to were ultimately a welcome change, others were extremely hard to let go of, especially the people and activities you loved.
The topic of change recently came up during a coaching session. (Yes, I have a coach and I love it.) My coach shared an approach to navigating change that I want to pass along. Before I share, I encourage the following: build in some time and find some support for your grief and any other feelings that arise. Change may be inevitable, but it doesn’t mean it is easy. Give yourself space to have your feels opposed to pretending everything is okay.
As my coach and I discussed, change is part of the life/death/rebirth cycle. In nature, one way scientists measure the health of an ecosystem is by how well the system adapts to change. Some change is expected, like the change in seasons. Other change is more unpredictable like a hurricane or a blizzard. Whether you can prepare for a change or not, the goal is to increase your capacity to navigate change. Healthy ecosystems have a greater capacity for variability.
One way to increase your capacity is to be energy efficient. The more efficient you are the better able you are to respond to change. (Change requires energy.) Being efficient is NOT being perfect. Being efficient means having skill to direct your energy to where it needs to go.
The first step to being more efficient is to notice where your energy leaks.
Often these leaks are felt as a challenge or a difficulty. Ask yourself: Where do I feel out of alignment or where do I notice a discrepancy?
The answer, more than likely, will point you to an energy leak. Energy leaks are signs where boundaries need to be shored up.
A word to the wise, it is tempting to get angry at yourself or to blame someone else for a weak or no-longer-useful boundary. Instead I invite you to interpret these energy leaks as a natural part of growth. These leaks show you what you value, and consequently, what structures need to be put in place to uphold or foster these values.
The second step is identify the value which the challenge or difficulty is illuminating.
In other words what does the challenge, sometimes felt as a fear or a worry, tell you about what you value or find important?
The next step, once you have identified the value, is to establish a boundary which will better uphold the value.
Quite often this boundary involves implementing a practice, a policy, or a procedure with your organization, or in the case of your personal life, within your home.
The last step is to clearly state the abundance you want to create by implementing the boundary.
If you want a healthy relationship, for example, then implementing boundaries which promote trust will support your goal and help you live into the value of trust.
If learning and implementing techniques which support change intrigues you, then you may be interested in the new Shakti Stewardship Program which begins on April 15.
This 16-hour intensive is limited to 13 people who want to lead from a place of congruence, wholeness, and flexibility. An official registration page will be up toward the end of this month; however, you may email now with any questions.
Wishing everyone a wonderful week!
Love,
Shadow Work: Uncovering our Unconscious Needs
A 6 week series
To support emerging leaders, the Shadow Work series is being offered this fall to build resilience and freedom. The goal of this series is to unearth your unconscious needs so you may eliminate limiting beliefs and healthily address your needs.
Kim Bushore-Maki is a soul-driven entrepreneur who understands the undeniable urge to create a business and a life filled with meaning and purpose. Her vision of opening a center where people could heal and grow led her to open Shakti in the Mountains in Johnson City, Tennessee: a place where the creative, feminine energy is nurtured and valued.
Kim is a licensed professional counselor and a yoga teacher. She completed the Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy program as well as the Shake Your Soul Yoga Dance program. Kim is very interested in somatic expressive therapy, archetypal psychology, gardening, herbalism, astrology, wisdom traditions, and regenerative economics.
Kim continues to build and to support inclusive, vibrant communities. She spends most of her time mentoring leaders, guiding healing programs, and providing mental health counseling.
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