During a recent healing practice with my training partner, I was asked if I felt “rushed.” I paused and checked in with my body: Was I feeling rushed?
Yes, said my body. I was feeling rushed. But why?
I slowed down my breath, got still, and became curious. I noticed I wanted to blow by the uncomfortable feelings I experienced mere minutes ago and go straight into “fix it” mode. Oh boy, I thought, my partner is going to ask me to stay with the uncomfortable feelings. Yuck.
She surprised me. Instead of asking me to be present to the feelings I wanted to avoid, my partner invited me to notice my resistance to the uncomfortable feelings.
Immediately my eyes teared up and I felt the sadness I had been holding back spring forth. My partner remained quiet and gave me space to be with my sadness. After a few minutes, she asked: What are you noticing?
Strangely, I noticed I felt better: not as sad. I felt the tension in my chest release and the desire to rush dissipate completely. The pressure to fix the sadness was gone and in its place, I felt relief.
My partner gave me a huge gift. She gave me the gift of her open presence along with an invitation to notice what was right in front of me – my resistance. I now am learning how to do the same for myself: to be with what is right in front of me without rushing it.
One way I am leaning into this practice is to slow down my breath and notice any sensations in my body. I literally scan my body from head to toe and pay attention to anything that stands out to me. I consider sensations which stand out as clues to what is going on with me.
Next, I sit with these clues and listen for messages. Sometimes the message arrives as a specific feeling and other times a thought pops into my head. Sometimes I feel the need to write or to draw what I am noticing, giving the message time to come up and through.
When I receive the message, I give myself time and space to acknowledge it. I don’t put any pressure on myself (or at least I try) to do anything with the information other than to absorb it.
Acknowledging my sadness with my partner was the antidote. I did not need to come up with a three-tiered plan to address my sadness. I did not need to start a new activity or to end an old one. My sadness simply needed to be seen and heard.
Letting go of the desire to fix and giving yourself permission to feel what is there, including your resistance, is a gift you can give yourself over and over again. Giving this gift to others is how we heal in community.
I invite each one of us to find opportunities to acknowledge what is right in front of us, and then, to be with it. No changing, no fixing, no rushing rather simply noticing. Just imagine all we can learn from this practice.
Have a wonderful week!
Kim Bushore-Maki is a soul-driven entrepreneur who understands the undeniable urge to create a business and a life filled with meaning and purpose. Her vision of opening a center where women could heal and grow led her to open Shakti in the Mountains in Johnson City, Tennessee: a place where the creative, feminine energy is nurtured and valued.
Five years later, Kim is still in the flow of supporting and building a healthy, vibrant community and now guides retreats, teaches yoga, and provides one-on-one services for women who want an immersion experience into the life-affirming, Shakti energy.
Kim’s training as a therapist and yoga teacher allows her to safely and compassionately guide women on a heart-centered journey to Self, where women re-connect with their beautiful, authentic spirit.